Rich, white, naked...

I had heard the old adage- “If you are nervous talking to a crowd, imagine that they are all naked.”
I was counting on this advice to be helpful, for today at 3 o’clock sharp I was giving the quarterly report to the company’s shareholders.
I paced around my office all morning and afternoon, and I must have smoked two packs of cigarettes whenever I could sneak outside.
On one of my trips to smoke a butt, I ended up sharing a smoke break with one of the kids from the mailroom.
His name was Juan.
I told Juan about my predicament. All Juan had to say was that if my shit was together, and I knew what I was talking about, then I had no reason to be nervous.
My shit was together, and I knew what I was talking about.
When three o’clock rolled around, I walked into the meeting ready to wow them, even if I did have to imagine seeing a room full of naked old white men.
Surprisingly enough, they were already naked when I walked in.
Surprisingly enough, this did not make me feel less nervous.
I imagined that all the shareholders didn’t have any skin, but this only scared me and caused me to run screaming from the room.
They’ve been calling for a week now, but I don’t answer.
I’m scared to talk to the scary, skinless stockholder men.