Sunday, August 24, 2008

Sunday (0)

did i do it? i know i skipped some.
i know i missed some numbers here and there.
there were real reasons- but there were no excuses.
it doesn't matter.
what matters is that it's another Sunday night. i spent the weekend being creative, feeling at the top of the world- living off the fumes of the art.
and now its Sunday night again, the worst night of the week. the night that i have to prepare myself for the day job. Sunday is when the creativity ends. Sunday night is when i realize that the things I've done to escape the toil of the unfulfilled have a shelf life of 48 hours.

it doesn't have to end, though.

eventually the creator finishes the world he has been building, and the denizens that he created take on a life of their own.
they may or may not know that he exists. they may or may not believe in him if they do. but he is there.
they came from somewhere...

and they live on, in the universe of the memories of the people that have allowed them into their brains. the universes grow, maybe, or cease to exist.

the worlds splinter. the creations die. the worlds live on. the creations wait patiently for instruction.

but, nothing is really that deep, is it? everything dies. and eventually, Sunday night will arrive again and the process will continue.

I mean hell-

there's always monday...

Friday, August 22, 2008

Merlock and Earth Prime- The first/Last Riot Act story (3)

Earth Prime.
located on the edge of the Milky Way, third planet from the sun, calender year 2008.
Merlock and his others travelled through a conduit created when he and the female version of himself, The Duchess, mated and created sextuplets.
Each one of the children had the power to open up bridges between the worlds.
Four of the children remained, two had escaped and become Johnny haunted House and Dwarf Toss- but that's another story.

Somehow, upon arriving on Earth Prime, the all the Merlock were absorbed into a single body. Merlock thought that this would lead to a more powerful existence, but soon realized that he was near powerless in this form- on this Earth.

this was of no consequence to him. he would still do what he had to to destroy the Riot Act of this world.

Merlock began to search fr Riot Act, but found no leads- no clues. was it possible that they did not exist on this earth? he knew that they were hear- he could feel them.

he was being drawn to them.

for ten years, he conducted his search until he was nothing but a crazed shell of a man, traveling the night and sleeping in dumpsters. He was a man possessed. he had to find the Riot Act. He felt them. they were here, somewhere...

Soon, he would succumb to the elements, to the insanity, to death.

Merlock died without ever knowing the truth- that Riot Act did exist here- in the thoughts and dreams of they're creator, in the form of comic panels that had never been drawn and in the shape of a film that had never been written or filmed.
The Riot Act that Merlock sought here was only a dream, though a strong one, in the brain of a lowly writer.

The writers dream had created and destroyed worlds. The writer had made heroes and killed them with little more than a stroke of the keyboard.
Whats more, he had made Merlock, then killed him before he could ever realize his potential.

But Riot Act would live on, somehow, somewhere because ultimately, the writers brain was the only Earth that mattered.

Thursday, August 21, 2008

Merlock (4)

Doc Merlock, Necrosis, The Dutchess, Sin Simian, The Surgeon- each a twisted version of the same man from different worlds.
The plan was as simple as it was insane: they'd destroy world after world, reserving one as a hell that they'd bannish the people that refused to worship them to, and the last, Earth Prime, would be a Heaven remade in their image.

They began on Earth Three, where they already had a member of their strange family implanted in that worlds greatest super team, Riot Act. Once recruited, Sin Simian began a killing spree that was soon joined by the other members of the Merlock. Earth Three was an earth inhabited by both man and intelligent ape. Simian used his mind control powers to turn the apes into an unstoppable beast army.

The Merlock swept from earth to earth, doing battle with each worlds champions, and ultimately besting them all-
Until Earth Prime...

Wednesday, August 20, 2008


what are you going to say to the man upstairs? he knows everything you've ever done, and whats worse, he knows the things you've done especially when you knew they were wrong. that's the difference between stupidity and ignorance- and stupidity is not the way into the pearly beyond.
this is it, now.
it's all winding down. you've done things you're not proud of, but you've made some heroic choices as well.
whet you do now, though, is your defining action.
how will you go out?
like a real man? like an ass?
how will you walk into the big mansion, kid.
what is your game plane?
what happens now?
how do YOU die?


Hud Gamble isn’t his real name.  It’s not Clyde or Marv Lindeman either.  All this shit he’s been feeding you over the past year?  Lies.  It never rained nails, there’s no girl in 202 and he never dreamed of bees.  The shit about him being the kid in the barrel?  Lie.  That racist barber story?  Never happened.  He never cried to Bill Withers’ “Grandma’s Hands.”  He didn’t have an Uncle Frank and there’s no such thing as the Clean Six or Whacky Pack.  He never cruised the Parkway and he always envied the ‘first chair’ in his high school band, regardless of what he might have told you.  Most of all, there’s no Preston’s Discount Auto and there are no bands named Usurper, the B-Rad Boyz, Carcass Cakewalk, Queasy Yakuza or Closely Watched Trains.  I looked it up.  They don’t exist.  Most importantly, he did move out of his hometown, only to return on certain occasions.  Where he moved to?  Your guess is as good as mine.

None of this shit is real.  You think all the time traveling shit or the superhero fluff he came up with was legit?  Not even. 

He’s a fake and a liar.

His real name is Sam Landman and he’s probably having a good laugh about all of this horse shit that he’s concocted.

But I’ll tell you one thing.  One of these days it won’t be so damn funny.

(goodbye for now) 

Tuesday, August 19, 2008


we went nto the Waffle house and had a seat.
all of us were trying hard not to laugh.
we ordered, and dave walked over to the juke box.
he put in "Revolution #9" 8 times. that cost $2.

after the first play, the other patrons seemed relieved. when it began again, some assumed that the song had just not ended yet.
by the third time, they were seething, and we were cracking up.

the waitress walked over to the juke Box and unplugged it.

"you owe us $1.75" we said, as she returned with the ketchup I'd requested.


Mop your floor with Knutzen’s and you’ll never see a better shine. A shine that will change your life.  A shine that tears open the inter-dimensional fabric of time and space.  Knutzen’s is the only floor wax that makes this promise.  It’s also guaranteed to fight off the Brainmen of Earth F.  And not only the lowly drones that live on the surface of Earth F, but legitimate Brainmen.  Those that rule the masses with metal fists and electro-rods.  With Knutzen’s, you’ll find a way to get exactly what you’ve always wanted out of life.  A streak-free shine and the power to crush Brainmen on their home turf.

Knutzen’s.  Perfect shine.  Kills Brainmen.