Wednesday, August 20, 2008

A CONFESSION

Hud Gamble isn’t his real name.  It’s not Clyde or Marv Lindeman either.  All this shit he’s been feeding you over the past year?  Lies.  It never rained nails, there’s no girl in 202 and he never dreamed of bees.  The shit about him being the kid in the barrel?  Lie.  That racist barber story?  Never happened.  He never cried to Bill Withers’ “Grandma’s Hands.”  He didn’t have an Uncle Frank and there’s no such thing as the Clean Six or Whacky Pack.  He never cruised the Parkway and he always envied the ‘first chair’ in his high school band, regardless of what he might have told you.  Most of all, there’s no Preston’s Discount Auto and there are no bands named Usurper, the B-Rad Boyz, Carcass Cakewalk, Queasy Yakuza or Closely Watched Trains.  I looked it up.  They don’t exist.  Most importantly, he did move out of his hometown, only to return on certain occasions.  Where he moved to?  Your guess is as good as mine.

None of this shit is real.  You think all the time traveling shit or the superhero fluff he came up with was legit?  Not even. 

He’s a fake and a liar.

His real name is Sam Landman and he’s probably having a good laugh about all of this horse shit that he’s concocted.

But I’ll tell you one thing.  One of these days it won’t be so damn funny.







-ANON
(goodbye for now) 

2 Comments:

Anonymous Adam said...

Well done, sir. Now go hit the showers.

August 20, 2008 at 10:37 AM  
Blogger Landman said...

I feel so used...That day is now, it aint that damn funny.

November 25, 2008 at 6:19 PM  

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