BITCH-HOLE

The red Corolla swerved to try and hit the albino squirrel. When the car missed, it sped off down the street without stopping. The albino squirrel zipped halfway up the tree, listening to the desperate cries of the two year old girl in the back seat, getting farther and farther away from him.

"This is not the life I expected," he thought. "Chewing on bark, constantly on the move, narrowly escaping death from cats and dickheads in Corollas. I mean, a Corolla? Who drives an outdated piece of shit like that anymore? Why the hell did I have to be a squirrel anyway? Okay, climbing trees is pretty badass. And that thing I can do on telephone wires? Being able to leap from one limb to the other? Makes me feel like a fucking rock star! But even the cool shit has gotten pretty pedestrian already. And an albino squirrel? I might as well paint a target on my chest! Except when it snows, but still! I wonder what my life expectancy is. I mean, cats and Corollas aside. Jesus. Reincarnation is a complete bitch-hole.




-SLL