Tuesday, April 29, 2008


people that don't deal with depression can't understand what it's like. they ask what it feels like, and you try to explain: it's like someone told you the worst thing you're ever going to hear, put a vice around your head, and shoved you out into public to try your best and interact as if nothings wrong.

i have speant the better part of my life trying to safely navigate the thin line between feeling not-so-bad and deep downswings.

the trouble with the downswings is that you can feel them coming, the same way you can feel a cold or a sinus attack. it's a sickness. it makes it terribly hard to concentrate and to do small tasks. it especially makes it difficult to participate in small talk.

since the majority of most people spend their days carrying on meaningless conversations about things they don't really care about, the days when you sickeningly don't really care about things things are rough.

i have had days where the laughter of people has made me ill.

so, you may think that it about happiness and sadness. it's not.
it's all about maintaining an illusion of normality.

because tomorrow, is another day.


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