DANTE'S BAR-B-QUE

"Boring burgers?!!?"

"Sloppy seafood?!!?"

"Sorry, kids! Those are your choices! I’m tired of cooking at home, so it’s either pick a place or starve!"

"Aw, mom!!"

"Oh, God! I wish there was a place where fast food didn’t play by society’s rules!"

POOF!

"Well, God’s not the answer, Diane."

"Dante!!"

"That’s right, kids! I’m Dante, the Bar-B-Que Demon! Quick! Tuck yourselves under my cloak! It’s time to feed your souls . . . ."

POOF!

". . . . to DANTE!!"

"Wow! We’re really here! Dante’s Bar-B-Que!"

"You know, kids, you don’t just eat the best ribs in town here at Dante’s. You don’t just indulge your sweet tooth on our Sin-amon rolls. And you don’t just savor our six hundred and sixty-six herbs and spices in every bite. At Dante’s, we’re about satisfying the soul as well as the palate."

"Yeah!!"

"That’s why we have The Killing Floor, an arcade for kids, full of the newest hate-filled, blood splattering, first-person shooters on the market. And guess what, kids! They’re absolutely FREE!"

"Wow!! Free video games???"

"That’s right! Just sign here. And don’t think we’ve forgotten about the adults. We’ve got Purgatory! While they’re waiting for you, they can indulge themselves in our high-grade shopping center. Top notch porn for the guys, devilishly inexpensive shoe stores for the ladies. It’s all under one roof. Dante’s!! We’ve Got Soul!"

"Kids??? Kids!! Where’d you go? It’s Mommy! Seriously, this isn’t funny, kids! I’m counting to three! You hear me? Three!! One . . . two . . . . two and a half . . . . . ."




-SLL