The All New Snakey McFakey Mystery Show(213)

i used nair to make sure i was nice and smooth. it burned a bit, but it was all worth it.
i arrived at work and waited in my cubicle until i felt the time was right- around 1:30.
i slipped out of my clothes and lie down on the floor. i began to wriggle around, pushing myself along the carpet using only the muscles in my stomach.
"here comes a snake!" i yelled as i travelled along the floor.
people screamed and looked on in horror. they'd never seen a snake this size!
"I'm a snake, and i'm gone get ya!" i yelled, then added "Sssss!"
"don't get me!" i heard someone yell, terrified.
"Who said that!?" i asked angrily "You the first one i'm gone get!"
"Snakes don't talk." i heard Hal from accounting yell.
"Plus, I can see yo pee-pee."
after this, everyone stopped screaming.
soon, everyone returned to their desks.
plus, i got the carpet burn.
especially on my pee-pee.