unicorn education

It has come to my attention that there seems to be a anti-unicorn
thread in my past few entries. I won't deign that they are demons
spawned from Satan himself. While they appear cute and harmless to the
general public, I know the truth. It has been said, that the unicorn
will bring pestilence, famine, sexual confusion, and death upon the
houses that permit their likenesses to be displayed.
Most people would question the perversion of such a cute fantasy
animal. A horse with a single horn upon its head holds quite the
appeal for young children. What most people do not realize is that a
unicorn is the perverse union of a zebra and rhinoceros. Unicorns in
real life are not pretty creatures, quite leathery and ugly as most
things that go against nature tend to be.
There is also that unsavory part where they enjoy feasting on the
flesh of young school children as they leave Sunday School. Guard your
children well. Follow my word, and banish the unicorn!