Sunday, June 1, 2008


Our future is filled with things you wouldn’t fucking believe.

Like what?

No, you wouldn’t believe it.  Trust me.  If I told you, you’d think I was making it up.

Well, why did you bring it up then?

I don’t know.  Doesn’t make much sense, does it?  Traveling to the future, seeing how strange and fucked-up it is, then coming back to the present, only to bring it up and then not tell you, lording it over you like some Biblical tree of knowledge.

You’re right.  It doesn’t make sense.

No.  Certainly doesn’t.

So, tell me something from the future that I, quote, “wouldn’t fucking believe,” unquote.

No, your feeble 21st century brain couldn’t handle it.

You’re from the 21st century, too, you dickhole!  And you’re brain could handle it!

Alright.  I’ll tell you one minor thing, so you don’t completely freak out.

Okay, hit me.

You sure you’re ready?

Yes!  Fuck!

In the future . . .


. . . there’s only one sex and in order to reproduce, you have to stick your dick into your own pussy.


Oh, see, I blew your mind, didn’t I?

Oh God!  It’s just so fucking messed up!  Ugh.  I’m gonna’ be sick.

Should’ve started with the hoverboards.







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