Sunday, June 8, 2008


The comedy duo introduced their magnum opus in front of a capacity crowd of at least 700.  A film they had made called “Deerdorfe’s Whoopie Machine” would have made its world premier.  The 700 attending were of the comedy and film aristocracy and this was the duo’s lucky break.  TV specials, a slew of movies, their own brand of medicated yet erotic foot cream.  All these things would be possible with the viewing of “Deerdorfe’s.”


The lights dimmed.  Applause stung the duo’s ears as they ran down to their seats in the front row.  The theater’s projector sputtered to life and shot a bright beam onto the screen.  As the duo’s names sprang up in the credits, the audience applauded again.  The duo looked at each other and smiled, neither one of them thinking that this moment would ever happen.  Yet, here it was.


As the first scene began (a long dolly shot of Deerdorfe’s messy laboratory), the film broke.  A strange groan staggered through the crowd.  They became restless as the duo craned their necks towards the projection booth, only to be met with a confused projectionist in the tiny window with spools and spools of film in his hands.


The duo hit the stage, trying to explain the problem away and buy the projectionist some time.  They fell back on what they knew best: comedy.  A few poorly placed and nervously delivered racist jokes didn’t exactly help.  Normally, they were pretty good at reading a room, but with the nerves and a front row seat to their own dwindling careers, things quickly went from worse to hella’ worse.


The audience started to throw shoes and ripped-out theatre seats.  Some must have anticipated it going badly because they threw fruits and vegetables.  Even little kids were getting in on the act, throwing pacifiers and squeaky toys at the men on stage.


The duo were luckily able to make an escape behind the movie screen, but not before they’d decided to look at this as an omen and call their relationship quits, then and there in the back alley of the movie theater.


The formerly unflinching comedic team, a double whammy on the brink of high-altitude success known as The Margot Kidders, were no more.



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