Thursday, June 19, 2008


She had more curves than that movie “Earth Girls Are Easy” or “Real Women Have Curves.”  And she drank like a fish.  Her giant mouth made a giant “O” as she poured the booze down her gullet.  When I was with her, I was the happiest I’d ever been.  Even happier than that period of my life when I managed that Korean massage parlor.  Most of all, we were happy together.  You know, like that song?  “Mama Mia.” 

But time went by.  I’d look around the room and every single clock in our house proved it.  Now, we stare at each other from across the room.  It’s like a dark mirror that I stare into, but this mirror shows me a curvier, sexier version of myself.  It’s tough to have to look at every day, and even tougher if I feel the need to jerk one off.

I had a dream about us last night.  I don’t remember much about it except that there was a giant kitten singing a slow ballad while we danced together.  I told her I loved her in Esperanto, but she told me I wasn’t making any sense.  Other than that, I don’t remember much about the dream.

I think the kitten was singing “Puppy Love,” without any irony.  But I think it was trying a little too hard to channel Paul Anka and get itself as far away from the Donny Osmond version as possible.



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