Sunday, July 13, 2008

SPOT THE ACTOR (THE GRAZER)

The Grazer is that strange, quite contradictory actor type.  He is absolutely talentless, yet auditions for everything and has the perfect headshot and resume.  He is a social retard and pariah, yet has a large social network of community actors that he considers friends.  He is completely ignored while being invited to all of the actory parties.  In short, he is an abnormality. 

The Grazer is one of those actors who auditions for everything in town, even if he is absolutely not right for the role.  He aims at 1,000 targets, and when he happens to hit one bull’s eye, he considers this an accomplishment.  He generally gets a role because he is either A) a fixture on a tired community that is short of good actors or B) he browbeats the director/producer/stage manager with so much inane, socially awkward repartee that they are bullied into casting him. 

The Grazer has an encyclopedic knowledge of all things theatre/film/TV.  Sadly, he will talk to a person blue with exhaustion on such topics.  Even sadder, the fact that the Grazer knows all of the major players in ‘Julius Caesar’ won’t change the fact that he’s so hopelessly bad that he’ll still accept the role of ‘Guard 3’ simply so that he can be in the production and thereby make every cast member miserable in the dressing room by going on and on about trivia that no one but him cares about.





-SLL

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