Sunday, December 23, 2007

Santa and the dreaded peppermint ninja clan

“There you go Dancer. Eat up. We fly soon,” Santa says, as he strokes Dancer’s neck, and gives him a large scoop of oats.
Santa likes to visit all his reindeer a few days before the big day. It is part check-up and partly to help work out any nerves they might have about the journey to come. As he moves to Prancer’s stall, he feels a gust of wind and says, “Doris, is that you? I’ve already fed Dancer, Vixen, and Donner.”
“Doris is out cold fat man,” a gruff voice said from the back of the stable.
“Who is that? How did you get to the back of the barn so fast?” Santa asks as he swivels back and forth on his feet.
Another gruff voice calls from the loft, “You know who we are fat man.”
A third voice from right behind him says, “We have come back for what you owe us.”
A Forth voice says, “Don’t call out. We would hate to hurt anyone we didn’t need to hurt.”
A fifth voice says, “You aren’t so cocky with out your legion of elves are you?”
“I can still take care of you pansies,” Santa called into the stables toward his still unseen foes.
Suddenly three white clad figures sprang from seemingly nothingness. Their only other ornamentation are the red and white striped belts they wore. They are quick and light on their feet, but Santa despite his size and girth is quite the spry athlete. He round house kicks one of them over into a stall. He cries out as he hits another ninja springing from the dark and knocks him into a second ninja who was creeping around a corner. Ninjas are jumping over stalls and out of the loft. They are everywhere. He quickly counts seventeen. He is surrounded. He holds his hands up and says, “I don’t want to hurt you, but I do have a job to do and you can’t stop me.”
The first voice stands before him and says, “Have you forgotten what you did in Sir Lanka last year? For that, you can not live.”
“So be it,” Santa says. With a twinkle of his eye, and a twitch of his nose Santa slows down time. The same magic that allows him to deliver toys to all the good boys and girls allows him to slow down the ninjas, and break their necks. Santa knows the reindeer will dispose of the bodies. They need to eat up for Christmas comes soon.


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