LIMEYS

The English countryside. A land of hedgerows and cozy pubs and hard-to-understand brogues. But maybe that’s just Ireland, that last part. Regardless, they’re a really hard-to-understand people, those country Limeys. But we’re not talking about that. We're talking about the English countryside. A foggy nesting place for the hard-drinking, working class. Aw, hell, where was I going with this? I started watching Straw Dogs and it was all I could do to side with Dustin Hoffman’s character. I mean, they raped his wife and killed his cat. And, sure, the marriage wasn’t working out, but those drunken Limey bastards pushed him too far. Of course, it ended in a bloodbath. It was Peckinpaw. What would you do if they threw rats in your window and killed your cat and raped your wife? The same thing, that’s what. And to think they wouldn’t have really pushed him into it if Hoffman weren’t sticking up for that guy who played the bad guy in Time Bandits and Tron. Jesus, I really hate that guy. But is it because he’s a Limey or because he always plays the villain? Aw, I got nothing against him, I guess. He’s classically trained. I can’t fault the guy for being talented. Where was I going with this? Ah, yes, the English countryside. I HATE the English countryside.




-SLL