THUNDARR HIGH

     My mailman’s a prick.
     I don’t know the guy.  I’m basing this all on the way he shoves my mail into that vertical mailbox.  So, I have a number of old bills in there.  And Valentines.  So what?  Maybe I’m making a snap judgment here.  Then again, maybe I’m that person who actually wants the Bargain Shopper circular.  And that person who wants it without rips in it from my mailman’s ham-fisted approach to postal work.  Does he know me?  I might be that person.  He doesn’t know me in the same way that I don’t know him as an insensitive prick.  So, we’re even.
     God!  And this night was going so well, too.  I had such a warm feeling tonight, watching the lunar eclipse.  Even in this below-zero temperature, it made me feel like I was experiencing something unique.  It reminded me of that broken moon from Thundarr the Barberian.  Shit, so much of that cartoon was balls-deep badass.  Ooklah and that cool mutant horse he rode?  C’mon!  And that sorceress chic in the blue leotard?  Shit hot!  And Thundarr’s lightsaber?  Okay, we knew it wasn’t a REAL lightsaber, but it as the early 80’s, so of course EVERTHING had that Star Wars vibe to it.  So, I’m on this Thundarr high and I get in here to find my mail shoved into my mailbox with all the grace of John Holmes’ beautifully warped cock entering some poor girl’s vag.  I wish Thundarr were here right now to slice that pension-getting, box jockey the fuck in half for what he’s done to me.




-SLL