IT'S A CLOWN, CLOWN, CLOWN, CLOWN, CLOWN, CLOWN, CLOWN, CLOWN CAR CHASE 9000

B – Oh, God.  That was painful.

S – I know, I know.  I did warn you.

B – I expected it to be bad, but I didn’t think it would be so boring.

S – Yeah, well . . .

B – God, it was so boring!

S – I know!

B – How did a movie like that even get made?

S – It was the late 70’s/early 80’s.  They greenlit anything with that many stars in it.  They knew what would sell.

B – What was with all the clowns?

S – I . . . don’t know,

B – And why were they chasing each other again?

S – It was a car chase movie.  I don’t know.

B – And why was it called 9000?

S – It was the 9,000^th time they’d chased each other.  Who am I?  Hal Ketchum or Hank Fletchum or whoever the fuck directed this piece of shit?  I told you.  I don’t know.  What more do you want from me?

B – I want a Goddamned explanation!

S – Well, I wish I had one.  You’re the one who wanted to rent this steaming pile.

B – I used to watch it all the time on HBO when I was a kid.  I loved it back then!

S – What, you thought that if you rented it 20 years later it would be just as good?

B – Kind of.

S – Again, I warned you.

B – But you didn’t warn me how fucking boring it would be! 

S - Stop shaking me!

B - Sorry.  But you see what I'm saying.

S – Oh, I see what you’re saying!

B – God, I want to die.

S – At least we didn’t rent the sequel first.  You thought this one was bad?  Whew!

B – How could the sequel be anywhere near as bad as this stupid shit?

S – Longer pie fights, no bloopers during the end credits and all of the Rat Pack make an appearance.

B – Oh, God.  Hold me.  Closer!

-SLL