THE UNHEIST

The location we’re going to hit is in that strip mall down the way, sandwiched between the New City Buffet and a vacuum store. 

      How late is New City open? 

      I’m thinking they push out the last of the fat-asses by 10 PM at the latest. 

      And the vacuum store?

      It’s a fucking vacuum store, man.  How late are any vacuum stores open ‘til?  They practically keep bankers hours.  Latest?  5 PM. 

      I say we make this a 3 AM job, then.  Just in case. 

      Right.  Now, as far as security, there is none.  This place went belly-up almost immediately.  Once the bank took it out of the owner’s hands, there were people in that place telling the employees this was their last day and they’d be getting their checks in the mail.  So, all inventory down to the pennies on the floor was left as if the fucking Rapture had just happened.  Pompeii-style shit. 

      We know this for sure? 

      I’ve scoped the place out, man.  There’s still Jolt colas sitting in the fridge, untouched.  The only thing we got to be mindful of is any strip mall, rent-a-cops who might be passing by, but that’s why we place a guy having a smoke outside, just strolling, like he just got through eating at New City, which might make this hard to do at 3 AM, if that’s the case.  But, that’s up for discussion anyway, I say. 

      And we know all the inventory is still there? 

      I’m telling you.  It’s still wall-to-wall.  I’m thinking the bank is just sitting on it until they can figure out how they can make some kind of return on this shit. 

      Do we have a timeframe?  Some kind of window? 

      See, that’s the sexiest part of this situation.  Once we’re in, we’re in.  We might need some kind of low light source to see what we’re snagging, but that’s it.  All the time in the world.  As long as we keep lights off, we can take whatever time we need. 

      There still porn in the back? 

      Far as I know, all that sick shit’s back there.  Which reminds me, we should coordinate who gets what.  We divvy it up like this: hardcovers, trade paperbacks, back issues, magazines, Anime, action figures, sports collectibles, t-shirts . . . what am I forgetting? 

      Porn. 

      Right, right.  The porn’s a two-man job.  Oh, we still got a line on that lockpick? 

      Cousin Coy. 

      Right on.  He into comics? 

      Not really. 

      Well, I guess we’ll make sure he gets the Busty Asian box set in his stocking this year. 

      ‘Kay.  We done? 

      No.  One last thing.  Don’t eat anything that day.  We’re hitting New City before the job.  My treat.
 



-S