Thursday, August 23, 2007


    Well, I am a bear. Not just any bear, but Yogi Berra-Bear. No relation to that hack Yogi Bear. ‘Smarter than the average bear’ my ass. Unlike some furry forest friends, I actually went to college. I got my degree thank you very much. It wasn’t easy a double major in ethics and business. I later went on to get my MBA. You have to remember this was as a time when bears weren’t allowed in most universities. Hell, most of us, if you remember correctly, couldn’t even finish high school. My parents wanted me to move on and do something bigger than my life than rustle around Jellystone National Park. I wanted out too.
    I had been out of school for maybe three years, and I had already been offered a junior VP position in a top Fortune 500 Company. I took it. Things were looking up. There hadn’t been a bear attack in years. Human/bear relations had not been better. That might have been the problem. Things got too good. This was the point that the “other” Yogi Bear got his TV show. Damn Hanna-Barbera.
    After they got a hold of that other Yogi, it went to hell in a hand basket. Well, I should say pic-a-nic basket. People always asked if I had brought my lunch in a pic-a-nic basket. Sure at first I laughed it off ‘cuz I am a pretty calm guy. Somebody started taking random peoples lunches at the office. At first, it was this joke that ‘hey I bet the bear took it and hid it in his pic-a-nic basket.’ God, how I hated that. I won’t even mention how many times I heard the ‘smarter than the average bear’ line. I know I could beat his ass in Jeopardy any day. I KNOW I am smarter than the average bear.
    That’s why I brought him here tonight. He has screwed things up for the last time. I know he should have heard this speech, but I didn’t want to be that guy who talks the guy he is going to kill to death.  It gives that ‘smarter than average bear’ a chance to get away. You might have been able to pull it off. He couldn’t. So, bam he is dead, and he won’t bother me any more. Well, there are reruns but at least I can slowly buy them up and destroy those. 
    The only hitch is you. You weren’t invited. You shouldn’t be here. I kinda like you. You were the brains, too bad.

    Bye bye Booboo.





Blogger Casey said...

I love Jeopardy:) Thanks for mentioning it in this one.

August 23, 2007 at 10:58 AM  

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