Friday, September 28, 2007


I watched Ava have sex with men for money on camera. I knew it was just a job, but what kind of man would I be if I didn’t get just a bit jealous?

Occasionally, she’d find me with her eyes and smile. I think she thought that this was comforting or even sexy, but the circumstances only made the entire deal sickening.

I don’t know how I became a porn husband, but I didn’t want to be anymore. I couldn’t ask her to quit, and I couldn’t leave her because I loved her. But I was dying inside.

All those men, day after day, doing their business in my wife as I watched and pretended to be cool about it. Camera men trying to make small talk. Off-screen talent watching and touching themselves. It drove me insane. Still, the money was good, and she never kiseed them. She saved the kisses for me.

Ava only kissed me.


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