BUICK

If you turn the hood ornament flat, she’ll crash that Buick. This sounds nutty, I know, but that’s all it’ll take, I assure you. Don’t fuck with the brake line, don’t mess with the steering column. Just turn the hood ornament facing out. She always has it turned sideways so that it points down the road in front of her. A guide, I guess. As if the white lines on either side of freeway weren’t enough. But once you mess with that guide, that car is as good as totaled.

She won’t notice that it’s been messed with until she’s well on her way, and by that time it’ll be too late.

I’ve picked you because you have some distance from this. I just can’t bear to see that Buick again.

Good luck. I love you.




-SLL