Jill's Legal Problems

    “It has been said that Jack and Jill went up a hill to fetch a pail of water. That is what the media would like you to believe. That is what the defendant would have you believe. She would like the court to believe that Jack did in fact fall down and broke his crown, and that she tumbled down after him.” The prosecutor turned to face the jury. He paused. He turns back to Jill. She is seated in the witness stand, dressed in a very smart pantsuit. She looked almost proud of the prosecutor’s care in telling her story.
    “That is where the truth in your story ends, doesn’t it? Jill said in her statement and I quote, ‘Up got Jack, and home did trot as fast as he could caper.’” The prosecutor walked to the evidence table and picked up a plastic bag. The plastic bag held a ball peen hammer stained red.

    “This is Jack’s hammer is it not?”
    “Yes, it is.”
    “ Do you know what this red is?”
    “No, I do not.”
    “Is it not true that it was you who had the pail, Mrs. Johnson?”
    “Yes, I had the pail. The hill was quite steep. Jack would go up, I would hold the pail, pass the pail up, and then he would help me up.”
    “So, you admit that the hill is quite steep. Why would you go all the way up here to get water when you have a Piggly Wiggly just down the street? Or, perchance water from the tap?”

    “I … ahh…”
    “Are you trying to find the words? Could it be possible that you need to say that you lured Jack up this dangerously steep hill to acquire this “excellent” water? Could it be possible that you wanted to add that you put that hammer in the pail, and when you reached the top you used it to attack Mr. Johnson. You hit him over the head with the hammer then pushed him down the hill. You tossed the hammer down the well then “tossed” yourself down the hill to attempt to hide the fact that you assaulted your husband.”
    “I… He… It wasn’t like…” She stammered and her eyes began to tear up.
    The prosecutor turned to the jury and said, “Would an innocent woman take her husband home after a fall such as this? No, a loving wife would take her husband to the hospital, not wrap him up in brown paper.”

    “It was an accident. I didn’t know what to do!”
    “If it was an accident then why did you take out that insurance policy not a week before?” As he delivered his final line, the courtroom erupted into noise. The judge slammed his gavel and called for order.
    “I rest my case,” the prosecutor said as he sat down and started to gather his materials.
   
-P