Joe Bud Boone

From the diary of Joe Bud Boone, redneck, scholar, poet, philosopher, and one ugly son of a gun.

Dear Diary,

I sit here once again broke down and brow beat by the emotions of a woman. True my upbringing says I should hunt, fish, mud ride, and whoop and hollar at a pretty woman I see walking down the street. Somehow I feel that there should be more in life than this. I want to go far and wide. I want to get beyond my eighty-foot single wide party box. I want to date someone with more teeth in their head than I have. I don’t want to feel ashamed if I say I want to go to a play instead of the new Die Hard movie. I want someone who will appreciate the fact that I taught my dog to whistle Brahms’ Lullaby.

And I don’t want her to be a man. Or a man dressed up like a man. Not that there is anything wrong with that I just don’t want to share my razor.