Sunday, February 10, 2008

Catalogue of the Damned

The Catalogue of the Damned isn’t what you would think. Sure when you say Catalogue of the Damned you have visions of small vampire children running around dog-earing pages for Vampire Christmas. Sorry, side note, a common misconception would be that Vampire Christmas falls on Halloween. That notion is completely bogus. There are actually two dates depending on a vampire’s location. It’s either Fat Tuesday or St. Patrick’s Day depending on which day will yield a higher ratio of drunk people.
Sorry, I always get excited when I talk about Vampire Christmas. Where were we? Oh yes, The Catalogue of the Damned. The Catalogue, as we refer to it in the business, is the Girl Scouts of America’s list of people they refuse to sale cookies to.
Yes, it is true. If for some reason you suddenly stop receiving the little girls in brown hawking baked goods, you sir have been blacklisted. It happens to a lot of people, trust me. Bill Clinton was blacklisted for who knows what. It could be several offenses, but that is the sole reason Hillary Clinton is running for President. She has it in her head that if she is President they will at least sell cookies to her. She is wrong. Once anyone in your family is in the Catalogue you are screwed. It’s Old Testament style vengeance. Word has it that you have to have a three generation perfect tract record to get out of the Catalogue.
You have a good point sir. If I know these things wouldn’t I want to get on their side not sow the seeds of their horrid little story? I think the word needs to get out, these wrongs upon the innocent need to be righted. Do not think we will sit idly by, and be ignored by these cookie peddlers! We should not and will not be punished for the sins of others!


Post a Comment

Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]

<< Home