JESSE, NOW JEROME

So, then Prince plays “Purple Rain,” dedicates it to his father, the crowd loves it, Prince gets the girl, credits.

That’s the ending.

Yeah.  That’s the ending.

Uh-huh.

Oh!  And The Time all commit suicide.

The band, The Time, suddenly commit suicide.

Yeah.

I’m not buying the ending here.  Why would The Time commit suicide just because Prince played “Purple Rain?”

Well, actually they blow up.

Blow up?!!?

They self-destruct.

What?  Now they’re robots?

Yeah.

Let me get this straight.  This 40 year old fey lives in his parent’s basement, rides around on a purple motorcycle like a tool, he beats the only piece of ass in the whole movie, yet she still stays with him because he’s not actually as gay as he appears.  Believe it or not, I’m sold on it up until this point.  Now you’re saying his rival band in the movie are a bunch of robots who blow up when he beats them with the titular song.

Yes!  Now, will you please greenlight this thing?

Fine!  Only if he ends it with “I Would Die 4 U.”

I, uh . . . I’m sorry.  I won’t compromise my vision.



-SLL