Do you have this is a 14?

"Excuse me sir, but do you have any paternity clothes in stock?" a man
in tight fitting clothes asked the rather stuffy looking store clerk.

"There is no such thing."

"Well, my wife is pregnant and she gets to enjoy maternity clothes. I
started putting on a few pounds, and figured I should get some
paternity clothes."

"I hate to be rude, but that's not from being pregnant. You're just fat."

"Oh."

"Yep."

"Ass."