The Problem with Cats

Professor Herbert Dunkin appeared as an eccentric frumpy old man. He taught animal behavior at Blott State University. He was a favorite of students for his thorough explanations of complex concepts, bringing candy to class, and his penchant for bringing one of his cats to class.
He used his cats as examples to show that it is possible to train even the most difficult of subjects to do complex tasks. His cats would play fetch. They used the toilet. They could dispense food with a modified can opener. They students loved it. What the students and the rest of the faculty didn’t know were the true motivations for Professor Herbert Dunkin’s research and cat training.
Professor Dunkin had been hired by the Russians during the Cold War to train animals to fight and kill for the Red Army. All of the cats had been implanted with microchips that when activated by a coded satellite signal would attack all humans within reach. When the Cold War ended Professor Dunkin was released from active duty, but was instructed to continue to train his current stock. Once they were of age, and had kittens the training was to commence. Professor Dunkin, with his love of cats, kept training, but not as originally intended. He taught them to help around the house and in other nonviolent functions.
Currently he is working on a fleet of cats who will do specific house cleaning and other chores at regulated times.


-P